Spencer

When Spencer was five years old it was a hard time in their house. He was having lots of trouble with behavior and his brother was having non stop seizures. His mom was struggling and crying a lot so we made a change. For eight months Spencer stayed full time with his poppa and me. He would come into the Falls and go to kindergarten and spend some time with his mom and go home with me and be with me on weekends. It was a good period of time for him and seemed to help with things going on in his life. I loved having him with me and I think that is why we are so tuned into each other. He is such a special little guy and I love his zest for life.

My boy Spencer

Spencer is so very special to me. He has spent many weekends with me and I am so grateful for the time we have had together. I love the way he is so smart and figures out things. It took him a while to understand when I when tease him and tell him "I am jerking your chain" After a while he got it and sometimes will say to me
"Gramma I am jerking your chain" when he is teasing me and I don't get it right away.
There is not anything in the world I would not do for both of my boys. They are precious to me.

It just does not make sense to me

Things seemed to be going so well but for some odd reason after being allowed to take the boys with me last week for bowling I am not allowed to take them to church this week? I have been informed that if they are to go that Johnny must pick them up and transport them? This didn't make sense before and it really does not make sense now.

Feels strange when this is one way and can change another time. I guess I just need to deal with this. I have mulled over in my mind leaving this area and this just makes me think that these circumstances will lead to making this step a future possibility.

Grateful for Jeffrey and his relationship with me.

I am grateful that Jeffrey feels like he can talk to me and not hold back. He does not feel judged by me and knows I am not gonna yell at him for his feelings and what he does. I get a little frustrated that he has to get away from his family because he feels like they are listening in on him and he cannot speak freely. I know he loves his Maggie and this is a painful time for him but this is a way for him and Maggie to know if they are suppose to be together. If they see other people and still spend time together it will give them a better grasp on what is right for them.

Life seems a mess

I was over to see my boys this past week. It was so nice to see them. The visit was strange in the fact that it had been a few weeks since I had seen them and their mom was very cold and distant. No idea how to get thru that wall-still don't understand why  she is being that way with her mom. Families need to support each other even when they don't agree with each other in all of their choices.

It always baffles me how someone can take a few things they don't like and throw away all the hundreds of positive things that should be what makes us family like:

Being there time and time again when the going gets tuff

Supporting each other even if we don't agree with each other.

Accepting each other as we are and not what we want them to be.

I don't and never will understand how people that are suppose to love each other can
say and do things that are so hurtful and hateful.

I have always been there for my family and God willing I will continue to be able to reach out and do that in the future. Lord I need your help here.

one way streets

I have not visited the boys or even called for a couple of weeks. I was hoping to hear from them and really hoping that someone would  call me. I did hear from Spencer the other day -he got his report card and has earned $45.00 which I will pay him next week. Feeling discouraged that my relationship with this part of my family is so mixed up and strained and it seems like if we talk it is usually me that makes that happend.. At least this is the way it seems to me at this time. I am thinking that if I do move away they may not really miss me all that much. It makes me very sad and hurt but I will deal with this because I love my family and families don't hurt each other on purpose.

I am glad I am not 16 anymore

I watch the roller coaster that my grandson Jeffrey rides every day.  It is so hard to be 16 and in love.  My hope for Jeffrey and Maggie is that they just slow down and enjoy life every day.  It is so complicated and I know from life experience that we all feel very different at 16 then we do at 20, 30, 40 and 50 and see things very different at each of these points in our life.  It is so important to make choices after lots of praying, thinking and just stepping back to look at our situation.  It is also very important to seek the counsel of those we love who will love us enough to tell us the truth even when it hurts.  I am taking pizza over to visit with the boys on Thursday and am so looking forward to it.  It makes me sad because they family has been so stressed and strained and we will rebuild with God's help.

Spencer is growing up

We had birthday cake with Spencer and his family on his birthday Monday October 11, 2010.  He is getting so grown up in some ways and the visit went well.  I am so proud of my boy Spencer and know he will do great things in his future.

Life is hard for Jeffrey

Jeffrey has been dating Maggie for over a year and I know he loves her very much.  I want him to be happy and between his health issues and the issues involved with Maggie I see him spending lots of time sad and bogged down with all the feelings he faces-insecure, anger, doubts about his and Maggie's future.   I would like to see him just relax and enjoy this time with Maggie and not rush into things.  Looking back over my life I have some regrets and as well all want the best for those we love I want him to escape this life without regrets and pain.
NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!!  I love you Jeffrey.

Spencer is very special indeed

Spencer's 13th birthday is on October 11 which is next week.  I tried to call him tonight but his phone was off.
I will try again  tomorrow and if I don't get an answer I will call Jeffrey to ask him to have Spence call me so we can discuss what he wants to do about that birthday coming up.  Having Asberger's Syndrome  certainly creates many interesting conversations with him many which make me laugh out loud.  One day this past summer he met me at the car when I pulled in and told me he had a new girlfriend.  He then said "She is fat  as hell" but I like her.  I asked him if he had told her that she was fat and his response was "Yes  Why"  That's my boy.  It is hard to believe he will be a teenager -it seems like he was just a little guy not that long ago.

Spencer is very special indeed

Spencer was born after many weeks of false labor for his mom.  He was born really fast and was placed in a incubator for his first five days due to jaundice and he also had some seizure activity due to his nervous system not being completely mature.  He settled in to his family life quickly and was a easy and good baby.  If I remember correctly his parents could were not sure if they were going to name him Kyle or Spencer.  Well the rest is history.  His older brother was just three years old when Spencer was born and he was so cute how he would hold  him with help and he loved his little brother very much.

The birth of my grandson Jeffrey Paul Wiley

Jeffrey was my first grandson.  He was born five weeks early and arrived in this world my sleepy healthy baby and I was so proud.  I remember the day before he was born-his mom had been struggling with preterm labor for months and she was in a really bad place health wise and it appeared that the baby not yet born would be in peril.  His mom was so upset and depressed I went shopping and got tons of little boy clothes from newborn to size two which looked huge at that time.  I use to get such a kick out of seeing him wear them as he grew.  I remember he was three weeks old before he would open his eyes so I could see them.  He used to cry a lot and was the most beautiful baby.  I watched him for the first time when he was ten days old and his mom brought me four pages of instructions on baby care for the night.  What fun we had.